Family vs Friends

Family can be a funny thing, they are the people in our lives that we cannot choose, we are related to them by blood, birth and history. Sometimes we get on with them, other times we do not. Sometimes we know them for their entire lives and other times we only know them for a short amount. Most of the time we love them, with short bouts of anger and disappointment but in the end, family is family.

Friends on the other hand, like the TV show says, will be there for you throughout and friends are picked by you, you have chosen them to be part of your lives. This can sometimes make them more special than family, and sometimes they are part of the family for life. The reason I am talking about this is that I come from a very small family and currently our daughter only has one uncle and two aunts (Uncle is my brother, his girlfriend is her aunt and my sister in law is her other aunt).

Now I love my brother and his girlfriend, and my wife loves her sister, however non of them really like children. My brother and his girlfriend have, on many occasions, expressed how much they don’t like children. They prefer animals, owning a small zoo in their home. My sister in law, though lovely, doesn’t really have any interest in our daughter, she also lives quite far away. So that brings me to my point that my daughter is going to grow up calling our friends aunt and uncle, though they are not related to us, and I am looking forward to this.

As I said, you can choose your friends and these friends we have chosen mean the world to us. They are in our lives for a reason and I am glad to see our daughter grow with them in her life. That’s not to say her real aunt’s and uncle will not be present, they will be whether they like it or not.

One month in and we are still alive – just.

A month is only a short period of time in what can sometimes be a quick and fast year. Some months have more days than others, some are warmer than others (unless in the UK then all months follow the same pattern, cold and rain) and some have special dates within them that allows us all to celebrate and get drunk. Everyone has a month in which they were born and many people use the star signs to look into the future of their lives, and yet we as a nation struggle to get through the month for many different reasons.

The end of the month can’t come soon enough for many people, as we count the days down till pay day, so that we can either get rid of it all via bills and life or spending it all over one weekend, either way midway through the month, our pockets are looking rather empty. Months can drag on when expecting a holiday, as the weeks tick by, watching the calender roll on till that day you escape work and life, for a week or more of fun and frolics. Months are what we make them, and what did we make of our first month as parents?

Selfishness is not always what it seems.

My wife sent me a link to a great article the other day, titled Prioritizing your fitness isn’t selfish – it’s necessary by Eric C. Stevens. You can read it here; the general idea of the article is talking about peoples health and how some people may think that they are being selfish when looking after their bodies, whether its the fear of neglecting their friends and social status or even ignoring their part as a mother or a father. When I was a personal trainer my moto was ‘We are only given one body, look after it’ and I still stand by this. I love the gym, as does my other half, we love training and keeping fit, but we know that some people don’t enjoy the gym, or keeping fit, or being active which is their choice.

The issue comes when people start commenting on how often we go to the gym, or train, or how we prioritize looking after ourselves. Some people feel that this isn’t as important as work, career or family, and they are right, to some extent. (Before any arguments start I am not talking about anyone in particular, just people in general) We are told that we need to put effort into work, into our career, to make the most out of that opportunity, but why can’t we do that for our health? As I said, we only have one body and it’s true, we need to take care of it. Why is that selfish? To some I guess they feel that the gym is a luxury, something that we don’t need, but we do need food and shelter and family and money.

The countdown begins – are we ready?

So are we ready? Fuck no! We have the nursery complete (well apart from the curtains and some more vinyl stickers) with all the furniture the little one needs and all the storage we need to store all the stuff the little one needs. What I have found out, with expecting a child, is that such a small little being needs so much stuff. How does it need all this stuff??? I understand what all of it does, it just annoys me that it will grow out of most of it or not need some of it, only a couple of months down the line.

Anyway, back on topic, are we ready? I laugh at anyone who asks this, yes we have a pram/buggy, a place for baby to sleep, a car seat to bring it home safely, clothes for it wear and turd catchers to well catch the turd, but are we ready? Is anyone really ready to be parents? Without having the experience of having a child (which already makes you a parent so not included in this panic) how can we really know what to expect from our little bundle of joy? We can’t, which means we aren’t ready for this, all we are is prepared for what ever it may throw at us (sometimes literally).

No matter how much you read, or how much information you absorb from books or the internet, or even the advice you get from EVERYONE under the sun, it isn’t till that little bundle of joy is in your arms, in the safety of your own home, it’s home, that you will know if you are ready for parenthood. I can tell you now, even without a baby in my arms, I am not ready for this, no one is ready for parenthood, if they say that are, they lie.

That being said, I still shout BRING IT ON, because though I am not ready for this, I am excited to give it my best shot, because ultimately that is all you can do, that’s all any dad or mother has ever done, given it there best shot. Showered there little one with love, affection, a home and a family, everything it needs, everything you can offer it, that’s all anyone can do when they become a parent. I am looking forward to it all, no I am not ready to be a dad, but I welcome it with open arms and great big smile on my face.

Ante-Natel Class – The wonders of knowledge

So I have seen in a number of films and TV shows where the parents expecting there bundle of joy rock up to a hall, a house, a room or a park, filled with other parents expecting babies and learn all about what to do. These sometimes include funny moments or serious moments depending on the show or film we are watching but what they show is people becoming friends at the end of it all, sometimes finding their best friends for life..

I was expecting a class that was going to run over a number of weeks, one evening a week, where the same group of worried and scared faces would appear, talk, learn and laugh with one another. I was also expecting, due to seeing this in films and TV shows, to sit behind my partner while she sat on a cushion and breathed, a lot.

After experiencing my first, and what I believe to be my only, Ante-Natal class, this is what I found and what I thought of it.

Things to do for your children – Part 1.

So this is the first multiple blog I have written, this is only due to the fact I may come up or find more ideas along the way and will want to share them with you. Likewise, you may give me some cool ideas that I will want to share (giving you credit of course). I saw something on the wonderful world wide web of mystery and lies, which I thought was really cool, a great idea for you to do before you children have grown up.

I have also seen funny ideas which I may share one day but I wanted to share a few ideas I had seen or had that I want to do for my children. These may be things that you start now for them to enjoy when they reach a certain age, or things you wished you had done when you were little or just simple ideas from the inter-web that I like and will no doubt steal and use when raising my own children. But hey, that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Borrowing other peoples ideas and trying to make them work with your own little bundles of joy.

Ultimate Children’s bedrooms – these give me some ideas.

If I had money, well not that I don’t have money, but if I had money just lying around and could afford to make some of these amazing Children’s bedrooms then I would love to. I do want to make a cool room for my children to grow up in however size and cost may restrict me, especially if I wanted to make some of the below rooms.

At least you can get some ideas from these rooms, if not for themes or cool things to add. It’s like a child’s imagination exploded inside the room. I can not wait to let my imagination run wild when it comes to their room, though my credit card may feel differently about the experience. 

Do I really have to? Do any fathers really have to?

The people who know me know that I am child at heart, a big kid who really doesn’t want to grow up, like Peter Pan but without the tights, the knife and the lost boys. I have friends, who like me love to mess around and refuse to grow up, I mean why should we, getting old and being an adult isn’t all that. I know when we were younger we all said, ‘I can’t wait till I grow up,’ but then it happened and we were wrong, dead wrong. Sad times.

So when I keep hearing ‘Oh your going to be a dad, time to grow up then and be an adult.’ followed by a chuckle and a smile, it really gets annoying. I know some dads out there will agree with me but why does having children automatically mean you have to grow up? I know I mess around and have fun and play games still but I have grown up. I have a job (boring), I have a mortgage (drain), I am almost married (whoo hoo) and I have a sensible house (nice) but why does having children mean that it’s time to ‘properly’ grow up?

What will she grow up to be? I can not wait to see.

Wow, that sounded like a Dr. Seuss quote, but it was on my mind the other day, while driving home from work. Obviously there are many things that I can not wait to experience with my new bundle of joy, from their first finger squeeze, to their first word, to their first steps, you get the idea, the typical things that all parents are excited to see and experience. However, I began wondering what my child will become?

We all remember wanting to be something when we were younger, if you don’t think you did, you did your just too embarrassed to say what it was. In fact as a kid, I changed career so often it was hard to keep track. I do remember wanting to be a tennis player at some point in my childhood, but other than that, know idea. (I am sure my parents have a better idea). So it got me thinking about the future of my child, and what she will become. 

Having children – an excuse to wear things like this.

The world wide web of wonder and amazement is full of useless rubbish, endless cat videos, pointless websites and access to images and videos that we wished we hadn’t seen. However it does have some wonderful uses, such as internet shopping and funny meme’s to make you chuckle while slaving away behind your desk at work.

I saw this the other day and I feel in love with the idea of wearing things like this, only because I think they are silly, but silly fun, something you want to be doing with you child, expressing your silliness as often and as much as you can. Hope you find some of these as cute and funny as I did, if you don’t, well you don’t have a sense of humour and it saddens me.