Some of the things making our lives easier

When we told people we were expecting a baby, the amount of people that congratulated us was huge, however soon enough congratulations turn into opinions and people’s own experiences, which as some fathers will know becomes rather tiring, fairly quickly. This being said no doubt we will begin giving our opinions and our thoughts when our friends tell us they are pregnant and no doubt they will become tired of our opinions fairly quickly. We may have got annoyed from time to time but in all honesty everyone meant well and were just giving us helpful advice, which we appreciated, even if we did ignore most of it.

Advice from parents who’s children had already grown up, moved out and started a family of their own was the least helpful to say the least, but that was due to the age that we are living in. Things that were the norm for them had now changed and things that were frowned upon in their day is hailed as the best thing in today’s society. In a couple of years the things we have been told will no doubt be wrong and will have changed or reverted back to the old days.

I wanted to share some of things that we had bought or been given that had helped us with the pregnancy, preparing for the arrival of the little one and things we are using on a day to day basis that is making our lives easier. These are our opinions so please do not feel that I am forcing them on you, I just wanted to let people know what these products were like.

Some things I’ve picked up that wasn’t my daughter.

I’ve always been a visual person when it comes to learning, picking up things quicker if there is an element of physical activity. Reading to learn or remember something always was hardest for me, unless it was a book that actually interested me then it rarely stuck in my head. So for me learning was more about doing than studying, and fatherhood is definitely a learn as you go full time job.

You can read all the books you like on how to raise a baby, you can watch all the YouTube videos you want and you can listen to the parents down at the nursery till they are blue in the face, but it doesn’t change the fact that all this raising a small being is a learning curve we must handle head on with both hands and possible feet as well.

So even though she is only two weeks old, here are a few things I have learned over these fourteen days.

We’re not angry, we are just disappointed.

I suppose one of the many fears of parents is when the child becomes old enough to be self aware of his or her surroundings. They know how to manipulate, wrap you round their little finger (mainly dads and daughters but boys have a way of doing it as well) and they some how get their own way. These small little gangsters, walking, crawling, tripping and crying their way to the top of the mafia, and you are in their way. You are on the top of their hit list.

Discipline is a difficult thing to master. You have some parents who will punish their children for the smallest of things like being 5 minutes late, though it was the buses fault, and some parents who never really punish their children. Some children you see can get away with anything, and it seems the parents just don’t give a shit, while some children are so well behaved you wonder what on Earth the parents have done, apart from being good supportive parents, they must be hiding something.

My parents never really disciplined me. I got told off, shouted at and moaned at when I did something wrong, which was a lot of the time, but they never took anything away from me, sent me to my room or grounded me. Yet, even though I knew that if I did something wrong that nothing would happen, I never really did anything too crazy. I never snuck out of the house, never swore, never hit my parents (my brother I did but that’s just the way it goes) and I knew that if I did anything wrong, my parents would shout at me. They were never angry (though that’s a lie) they were just disappointed.

So how do we discipline are children these days?

Checklists, checklists, checklists everywhere!

The only time I do check lists is when I go on holiday, not coming back from holiday as at that point I don’t care what I put in my suitcase, but I don’t like the feeling of not being prepared for my vacation. I don’t want to get to my destination and forget something that was needed. Mostly I know what to pack and the essentials I don’t forget, but occasionally I have forgotten an important piece of holiday packing.

The reason I am talking about packing is that I dug out the sheet that I got from my ante-natal class, which is a checklist for dads. Now I know a visit to the hospital is no vacation, defiantly not for the other half and defiantly not for you, but the idea is the same, a checklist of things to do before, on the day and in labor. Some of you may already have a checklist, some of you may think about winging it and some may not have a clue, but this is what I have been told to do, the checklist for expecting dads.

Here hold this would you?

As fatherhood quickly creeps up, I have begun to worry about certain aspects of being a new dad. I will discuss some of these in future posts, such as money worries, working the pram, feeding the little one and obviously the dreaded nappy change. One thing that worries me more than any of those, especially as it’s the first thing you must do when presented with your new bundle of joy, is hold said baby.

I’ve never held a baby before, never, not in my life. I’ve seen people do it, I’ve even witnessed it in modern society in the real world, crazy I know. I feel the same way as my brothers girlfriend, who I recently discussed this with, when we announced we were expecting a baby. She like me has never held a baby, and she like me feels the same way when someone asks, ‘would you like to hold my  baby?’ Her response is no, same as mine, but the same thought will go through her mind, as it does mine.

‘Do I want to hold the most precious thing in your entire life?’ the answer quickly comes with a loud NO, which sometimes comes out in vocals rather than staying in my head and you watch as parents whisks said baby away from you in horror, as you sigh in relief. Now, this is all well a good when it’s someone else baby, you can always say no (maybe in a more polite way) but it’s your choice. When I’m handed my baby, my child, my small human being, I have no choice to hold it. A few words come to mind, ‘Please don’t let me drop her, please don’t let me drop her.’

Ante-Natel Class – The wonders of knowledge

So I have seen in a number of films and TV shows where the parents expecting there bundle of joy rock up to a hall, a house, a room or a park, filled with other parents expecting babies and learn all about what to do. These sometimes include funny moments or serious moments depending on the show or film we are watching but what they show is people becoming friends at the end of it all, sometimes finding their best friends for life..

I was expecting a class that was going to run over a number of weeks, one evening a week, where the same group of worried and scared faces would appear, talk, learn and laugh with one another. I was also expecting, due to seeing this in films and TV shows, to sit behind my partner while she sat on a cushion and breathed, a lot.

After experiencing my first, and what I believe to be my only, Ante-Natal class, this is what I found and what I thought of it.

Inspired by a fellow blogger – who had a great idea.

So just reading things that come up when you type in certain tags, and this time under the fatherhood tag I searched for, I found a wonderful post on the blog – A Daddy’s walk. His post, Left Hand Day, is a great idea and it made me think of other similar ideas that you can use on your own children as they grow up. As adults we take for granted things that we can do, or can’t do, and we forget along the way of growing up and growing old that we can change some habits or start new habits, all it takes is our brain to remember to do this.

In the post, Left Hand Day (if you haven’t read it, take a moment, it’s only a short post) the blogger explains that he and his other half are right handed, and that he feels that maybe he could have used his left hand a bit more often. This is where his children come in and in an attempt to help them feel more comfortable using their less dominant hand, he has introduced Left Hand Day. And this is a great idea, and I wanted to share other ideas that could work, along the same lines as Left Hand Day. 

Things to do for your children – Part 1.

So this is the first multiple blog I have written, this is only due to the fact I may come up or find more ideas along the way and will want to share them with you. Likewise, you may give me some cool ideas that I will want to share (giving you credit of course). I saw something on the wonderful world wide web of mystery and lies, which I thought was really cool, a great idea for you to do before you children have grown up.

I have also seen funny ideas which I may share one day but I wanted to share a few ideas I had seen or had that I want to do for my children. These may be things that you start now for them to enjoy when they reach a certain age, or things you wished you had done when you were little or just simple ideas from the inter-web that I like and will no doubt steal and use when raising my own children. But hey, that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Borrowing other peoples ideas and trying to make them work with your own little bundles of joy.

A few tips for new fathers, as found on the world wide web of wonder.

Once again I have been looking on-line for advice and assistance on this new exciting, terrifying, scary and wonderful stage of my life. There are hundreds of websites and articles for new fathers, Google knows what it’s doing when you type into it’s search engine, who knew?

Anyway, below are a couple of tips I have found on the good old internet web for new fathers. Read them, digest them, ignore them, listen to them, follow them, agree with them, disagree with them, argue about them, love them, do whatever you want with them, but remember these are my opinions and not things I am telling you to do.

Moses basket, Crib, Carrycot or Hammock – What are the differences?

When we found out we were expecting, a number of people have thrown in their opinions on what the baby is sleeping in it comes home with us. The words Moses basket, crib and cot have been thrown our way as well as how long will they sleep in our room. So we looked into this and discussed with parents (who have had kids who are now grown up) and friends who have had kids (recently) about what they think. 

I have included some pros and cons on some of the options about where the baby will sleep and ultimately it’s down to the parents. The parents we spoke to went straight to a Cot however they are little older than we are, however the newer parents and people looking into it have told us that a Moses basket is better. Trouble with today’s society in my opinion is that there are way to many opinions and options available to us, with people thinking they know best. Things that were ‘unsafe’ ten years ago are now the norm, and vice versa, so what are to really believe? If everything keeps changing from safe to unsafe and back again, what should we do?